Another TJ ‘n Ray Joint Book Signing

Yesterday we drove two hours to Dover, Delaware for the Kent County Library’s Author Showcase.

My wife killed it yet again in sales, and I moved a handful of books and a lot of bookmarkers. This thing had a large turnout and the best part to doing these signings is meeting the people. Total blast chatting with some of the fellow authors and getting to know patrons who were friendly, encouraging and fun. Kelly, Mike, Jill, Mark, Tim, Anna and Nicole, enjoyed your camaraderie and support.

Special thanks to Phoenix, who was a spectacular host of the event and props to the Kent County Library for passing out free eclipse viewing glasses for today’s total eclipse event!

–Ray Van Horn, Jr.

Retro Ad of the Week: Support Your Local Gumfighter

If you grew in the 1970s, what wasn’t cooler than gold belt buckles, stripe patterned shirts, comic books and Hubba Bubba bubble gum?

Sure, Fruit Stripe was okay, if a little chalky. If you liked chalk in your gum, all needed do was buy a pack of Fleer or Donruss baseball cards, during the waning years of trading cards coming with a gnaw-on treat. Topps at least had a palatable stick of gum in their card packs. Fleet or Donruss, it’s amazing we even lived eating that nasty crap.

Big Red chewing gum carried a fun, zesty cinnamon zing on the palette, while Fruitalicious and Bubble Yum were hot contenders vying for our gnawing pleasure back then. Hubba Bubba, I mean, dude, the name sold itself. The fact it had the best reputation for bubble blowing elasticity was the reason to care. It was also on par with Bubble Yum and the tried-and-true Bazooka for the quickest sugar rush.

I was reading through a few of my classic Iron Man, Captain America and Spiderman comics and rejoiced to spot the above ad for Hubba Bubba repeated in the issues from 1979. Hubba Bubba used to air t.v. ads featuring kids as “Gumfighters” in an old West setting throwing down against Black Barts of gum chewing, nonsensical giddiness which were effective in their pitches. We wanted this stuff to get in there amongst our friends to duel in bubble blowing.

Here in print form, a hilarious tutorial on the fine art of “Gumfighting” or as I called it then, “Gumslinging.” Best of all with Hubba Bubba, they’d found the science of non-stick retraction! All-important to a child of the Swinging Seventies’ gumslinging forte.

BELIEVE

Yo, those people talking smack about you, especially behind your back…they don’t matter. They never did matter. Play your game with all the integrity you can pull forward. Stay strong. Stay clear of mind. Dispel negativity. Show everyone, including the haters, ESPECIALLY the haters, your best you at all times. Above all, BELIEVE.

“You Know What It Is,” Poetry by Ray Van Horn, Jr.

You Know What It Is

the old pill broke my will

like five yellow Lanterns on a solitary green

            some dads forget to be dads the older you get

the inamorata broke my spirit

as country singers and emo punks slam overtop a soggy mike

            I wanted my equal, not a rival

riddle me this, the kid broke the bitchin’ Batwing model

I put together, start-to-finish, when he asked me to help

            it was an airborne accident, of course

the toilet broke, the heat pump too

the drier makes it a trifecta    

            add the lava lamp and blow TAPS over the dead soldier

I broke my long-ago record for number of times

romancing the bone in one week

            a stat I really didn’t want, penalty for roughing the passer

hell, Def Leppard broke my heart in ’87

as did, to greater effect, my high school sweetheart

            the swell and the quell of blind, adolescent fidelity

I’m breaking bad before I dive into a portable hole

sorry, Betty…get bent, Veronica…I wanna neck with Sabrina

            everyone has a dark side

broken shards look beautiful under glistening sunlight

when a rock wages war against a glass bottle

            metaphoric, allegorical anarchy

let’s go for broke, let’s break the camel’s back

help me, I am in Hell, like Trent Reznor circa 1992…

            you know what it is

–Words by Ray Van Horn, Jr.

–Photos courtesy of the public domain